Episodes
Monday Nov 18, 2019
Ep.2: Lat and Long Coupling
Monday Nov 18, 2019
Monday Nov 18, 2019
Chicken Mind Nuggets.
Hosted by Wifey
Chickenmindnuggets.com
@mindchicken
References for this episode
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/08/240692/couples-living-apart-together-meaning-married-benefits
Introduction music graciously provided by
Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)
My husband and I practice LAT coupling. Not intentionally. I accidently found out about LAT coupling from Wikipedia and didn’t realize it is a movement, I only knew it was something I have been doing for years. LAT stands for Living Apart Together and it is a growing movement amongst a lot of couples especially millennials because women are more and more financially independent and creating options and outlets for themselves which they feel are status symbols or carved “I made it niches.” A lot of men like it too, because they get a place to be them selves without having to share it with a partner unless they want to for dinner or a sleep over night.
We tried living together 3 times and each time it didn’t work out. We were still together, but not in the same house. The last time we had realization that the both of us are much better living separately than together. There wasn’t a fight so a anything wrong with the way that we cooked. It was just a moment where we realized that we each need our own space to be happy. So many years ago, I moved in with him for the third time to save up money before I moved into my tiny house so I wouldn’t have to pay an extra two months in my shitty apartment. I was at the stove cooking and he came over to see what I was cooking I don’t remember what we talked about in that short moment, but I said, “don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t stand living with you. It has nothing to do with you, it’s just that your there and I’m here and I don’t have my own space to go to. “He gave me a big hug and said, “I completely understand.” It was awesome, I felt so relieved that he felt the same way. We both have the same cleaning habits, the same cooking habits, the same preferences in TV shows, and everything, but it’s just that he is always there and I don’t have a place to go and be by myself. We are both introverts, and need our own space in order to feel happier and better about ourselves. We recharge by being away from people including ourselves.
As we started practicing not living together, we looked at other couples who live together and realize all the problems they have because they are always with each other the whole time. They fight and say stupid shit, but don’t have an outlet to go to to get away from each other and think to themselves about how to make the situation better. My husband and I live in separate houses in different towns and so many people think this is weird and there are problems or we don’t love each other, but the time we spend away from each other we spend doing the things we love and when we do get to see each other it is 100 times better. We have been together for a long time; 9 years and we have never had a fight. Do you think our grandparents had the right idea about sleeping in separate beds?
How much do you think your partner would freak out if you suggested that you sleep in separate beds or you live in different houses? Would they take that as a prelude to divorce? Are you able to have an honest conversation with them about having your space and them having theirs and setting something up where that happens more than a girl’s night out or a nightly retirement to a man cave? Why not? Do you have to follow the living together, sharing finances, sleeping in the same bed, always seeing each other standard norm of relationships?
A relationship is part of a trio. There is you, there is the other person, and then there is the relationship. Think about it.
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