Episodes
Friday Jan 24, 2020
Ep.7 Fitted Sheet
Friday Jan 24, 2020
Friday Jan 24, 2020
Chicken Mind Nuggets.
Hosted by Wifey
Chickenmindnuggets.com
@mindchicken
References for this episode
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/author-brene-brown-social-scientist-new-book-braving-the-wilderness/
Introduction music graciously provided by
Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)
I recently got rid of my fitted sheet. I hate fitted sheets. They are so hard to get onto my mattress in my loft, but I felt that it was the appropriate thing to do…. get a fitted sheet. I had a sheet which fit over my mattress that I used, but I got rid of that one too because it was difficult to get on with the limited headroom in the loft. I called up my husband and asked if he didn’t mind if I got rid of the fitted sheet. He didn’t mind at all, and wondered why I was flustered about the sheet…….
A few years ago, I was living with a family who was not my biological family while I lived in my tiny house. I loved them like they were the biological family that I never had and always wanted to do what I could to show them how much I appreciated them. I was helping the mom fold some clothes and I grabbed a fitted sheet to fold. I asked her, “How do I fold a fitted sheet?” Her reaction…. was anger-shock. “What do you mean you don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet?! Didn’t your mother teach you how to fold it?! C’mon you’re an adult! This is ridiculous!”
I had a few initial reactions to this scenario. I wanted to cry because she knew my mother was not an ideal parent and teaching me how to fold a fitted sheet was the last thing my narcissist mother was concerned with me doing. I wanted to defensively say “Sorry princess, do you want me to test the mattress to see if there is a pea under the bed?” I was going through a RANGE of emotions, but the most prominent one was shame and embarrassment. I am an adult woman and I don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet.
Of course, looking back on this now I see how ridiculous her reaction was and her reaction probably came from a place of hurt in her past, but I didn’t deserve a shame bullet for not knowing something that she determined was a fundamental skill. It was hard to ask her questions, advice, or for help after this because I didn’t know if my curiosity and lack of understanding of a subject would be met with ridicule from her moral high ground.
I didn’t get a fitted sheet from that point until recently, and when I tried to get it on the bed, I heard that woman’s voice ridiculing me for not knowing how to fold the sheet. That family ghosted me and it’s been a long time since I heard from them. I never really felt like I fit in to their dynamic, and it was heartbreaking when I realized how easy it was for them to up and leave me out of their life because they were what I considered my family. My biological family is not in the picture, and I spent my entire childhood surviving narcissistic abuse from every level from both parents which has left me with several issues that I continue to deal with to this day.
I never was able to fit my sheet in the family I was born in. I always felt like the black sheep and I am the only one who escaped the narcissistic abuse which has earned me the title of selfish bitch and family enemy who is the cause of all hurt. I couldn’t fit my sheet in all the years of school where each group I wanted to be a part of ended up never truly accepting me or understanding my nervous tics or emotional state when I lost everything at 15. I never fit my sheet with my first husband who I knew wasn’t right for me, but did everything I could to find a ray of happiness in his gloomy existence. I never fit my sheet in the Navy where I tried to stand up for the right things, but ended up being called a narc, a snitch, and left my division because they were so adamant about clowning around and not doing their jobs. My sheet, has never fully fit on a bed and the realization of that brings a strong launch of fierce independence and grateful beginnings.
I am not alone in this fitted sheet world, and there are so many other people out there who’s sheet doesn’t fit on the bed of any group, but the thing I wonder is how necessary is this sheet in the first place? I got rid of mine and it made my life easier, why do we have to keep a sheet that won’t fit anywhere and only causes us trouble? There is in innate sense of belonging that humans feel they need because of primal instincts to not be separated from the group or else you can’t enjoy the hunt or the group’s supplies. I’m in the position to declare that you can hunt and survive on your own and the fitted sheet doesn’t need to fit on anything, in fact it can be donated or made into rough sack to carry the things that make you happy. I am not happy 100% of the time, and I don’t think anyone really is. But I got rid of my sheet, and I know that I may never fully fit into the mold of any group, but I make my bed the way I want to. And there is no one left who can ridicule it 😊
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